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Once upon a time there was a man who liked chili.

However, this man would not be content with ordinary chili. He had to have magic chili – the kind that could turn you invisible. So he went into the swamp, and he located the Chili Witch, who lived in a three-foot house beneath the mushroom which, legend had it, would one day slay several tourists by running over them with a zamboni.

“This is no good,” thought the man. “However am I to get into this house? It is only three feet high!”

No sooner had he thought that thought, however, when quick as thought, a panther pawed out of the swamp and mauled him to death. “This is no good,” thought the panther. “All he wanted was some chili.”

So, the panther left him on the doorstep of the witch’s house, and went off into the swamp to see if he could find any resurrection spheres – rumor had it Wally the Alabaster Dodo had some, but he was stingy about lending them out to strangers.

While he did that, the man who liked chili simply lay there, quite dead. Eventually, the witch came home from her grocery shopping to find his corpse lying all dramatic and bloody across her threshold. She rolled her eyes, shrunk him so that he would fit through the door, and propped up his body in the living room.

“Well, he’s quite dead NOW,” thought the witch, “but I’d imagine he must be rather friendly, if only he were alive. Look at those eyes! And besides, as he is he makes a very handsome coffee table.”

So the witch sat back, put her feet up on the bloody carcass of  her visitor, sipped some tea, and awaited the return of the panther.

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