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Monthly Archives: April 2011

Why was there a teacup made of meat? It didn’t know. It was born that way.

Nobody wanted to drink tea from it, because it was made of meat, and the blood and viscera seeped into the tea, producing a most unladylike sheen upon the surface of the liquid. How did the blood continue to ooze after seventeen years? The meat teacup did not know. It would have shrugged its shoulders if it had any shoulders, but it did not. Instead it sat there, and sort of shimmered.

Eventually someone – a man named Alistair Buick, with a hard nose, a soft abdomen, and gray, wispy eyebrows –  decided to eat the meat teacup. That was a mistake. Ten years later, Alistair died of cancer.

“My only regret is that I got cancer,” said Alistair Buick. Then, as previously mentioned, he died. The meat teacup would have been pleased, had it not been consumed, digested, and turned into shit some ten years earlier.

Instead, the meat teacup simply decomposed. Like you will, someday.